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Hello,
just wanted to drop a couple of lines. I don't think I'll upload this blog again, it takes time I don't have and for the following I have in here it's not worth it.

So, if you want to keep track of my works, you can follow me on deviantart and on cementoconcrete, my new tumblr page.

Thank you so much,
M

for my next personal piece

"Il buio prenderà la terra, sarà tutto cupo, tetro e triste, le anime vagheranno perse, i ricordi guideranno gli sguardi vuoti. Se quel giorno sarò lì, farò un lungo sospiro, chiuderò gli occhi ormai inutili, cercherò di immaginare la tua voce guida e camminerò."

 Alison I.

Min study

wanted to test Min's brushes and made a 20 mins study of one of his pieces

15 minutes of kingdom boredom

life

"l'oziare, prova a disegnarlo."

1 hour painting, it's been a while since last one. 

I get easily depressed.

scelte comode

UNINVERSI

UNINVERSI

Every friday, at nine.

UNINVERSI

tomorrow.

What do you want from life?

There's a certain point in life where you sincerely ask yourself: "what do I want from life?"
In 19 years of life, I've never been asked a harder question than that. And knowing that the question comes from yourself just makes it even worse.

Do I really want to be an artist? Do I really want to be succesful? What is that I really need in order to feel GOOD? Recently I've been asking myself these kind of questions a lot. I've found some answers. For example, I know (not 100% sure, but close) that one of the reasons I love being an artist is because I want (read: need) to communicate to the world (or maybe just my parents?) how awful my childhood has been. How bad I keep feeling every day, morning after morning. How much angrer I keep inside but would love to let it all out. And you can't.
All I can do is to put little stories of me in every painting, in every stroke, hoping that someone will understand. And no one ever does.

There are things in life that are hard to understand. When you're a kid, they get even harder, almost impossible. You don't understand death. You can't give an explanation to that, you feel powerless, and it's incredible how easy is to blame ourselves for things that we could have never controlled. Sometimes parents can help, sometimes they're not there when you need them, you're alone and something is happening and there's nothing you can do and it just happened, and it's all your fault.

One day you grow up, you understand death, cheating, drugs, you understand that grown-up people are weak too. But it seems like it's almost impossible to go over it. In the deep, you still feel powerless. You still think it's all your fault.

How do you go over it? Will I feel like this forever? It's going to be this hard to sleep at night for the rest of my life?

All this fog in my mind just makes impossible for me to be truly commited to art... how do I get out of it? Is it really naive of me to be still waiting for someone to do that in my place? To help me get out of it? Is it being weak? I think I am. I think I am the weakest person I know. No matter what I've been through, what I managed to accept even though it was unacceptable, today I know for sure I can't do it alone. I just can't. I'm not strong, I'm not brave. I'm scared of life, I am so scared of facing life all by myself. I feel lonely even though I'm surrounded by people that loves me, and that's because no one understands. I don't want to be with them, I don't need their love or approval.

I want the love of who's no longer here and I can't have it. I want to go back in time and stop them. "Don't do it, you don't need it. Talk to me. I understand. I love you."

But I've never said it, and they're gone.

I'm so negative tonight. I'm sorry. I'm not always like this. I'm just really frustrated and lonely.
I'll be ok. I just need to find out what I want from life. It's going to take me a little more, maybe a couple of decades are enough.

PS: the title is an actual question for you (yes, you who read thus far, I love you for this), so if you'd like to discuss about it or maybe just complain, let's do it together.

son

Consegna espressa per INFERNO#000185

-15 minuti, Spedizione delle 10.30, consegna del pacco effettuata con successo.

Destinatario felice, FedEx fa promozioni il venerdì, è un bel giorno e c'è persino il sole su Roma che nascosto dalla cupola saluta la Garbatella.

-12 minuti, con il motorino nuovo vado più veloce, la prima volta che ci ho fatto un giro sembrava un boing. Vola, THC permettendo, ed è blu.

C'è un vecchio, viaggio verso Colosseo, che mi grida "A stronzo". Avrà cinquant'anni, la camicia che gli esce dai pantaloni che si è comprato ai saldi e la Land Rover che si paga con il mutuo. Sono tutti convinti di saperlo, il codice della strada, perché hanno fatto l'esame pratico, perché "negli anni 80 erano più severi i giudici", ma se gli sbatti in faccia un cartello non lo conoscono perché alla fine duecento mila lire per corrompere l'esaminatore i genitori li hanno sempre dati a tutti.

"Tua figlia" gli ho detto di rimando e ci ho riso su, tanto che fa, m'insegue?

-5 minuti, per Via Merulana ci passano solo gli autobus e i taxi, come se ci fosse una gerarchia dei mezzi, con i taxi che tiranneggiano e l'atac che li accompagna dal basso, solo che i tassisti sono tutti poveri e l'oro dei dirigenti non lo vedono manco con il binocolo. C'è un amico di mio padre che guida, si lamenta sempre, però un po' se lo merita quel lavoro di merda perchè sono anni che tradisce la moglie.

C'ho due pacchi dietro la schiena, curiosità sul contenuto a parte, sono pesanti e magari mi spezzano pure la schiena. Però di questi tempi ci si deve accontentare, dicono alla tv e devo confessare che alla tv ci credo: 900 euro al mese e qualche "Pacco non pervenuto al destinatario" che mi porto a casa non sono poi così male.

-4 minuti, per Via Merulana ci passano solo gli autobus, i taxi ed io. Non c'avevo pensato. Non ho fatto in tempo a girarmi che sono caduto, contro un palo.

-0 minuti, mi hanno accolto alla reception.

Mi hanno dato un pacchetto di marlboro light e dev'essere senza dubbio l'inferno, perché nessun uomo fuma quella merda senza sentirsi un po' in colpa verso il proprio sesso.

C'è un tipo con le beats che mi fissa, le beats sono rosse, come fossi uscito da un film comico ma senza ridere, come se fosse strafatto di coca. Dalle cuffie esce Emis Killa.

"Scusa, ma che c'hai da ride?"

"C'hai una scatola in testa, fai te."

Era esilarante, ma un po' disdicevole, il fatto che la FedEx mi inseguisse anche nell'oltretomba, come se vi buttaste da un palazzo per risolvere i vostri problemi con il gioco d'azzardo e poi dopo morti vi passasse per la testa di fare un giro per le slot machine, beffardo il sign. Dio no?

Non c'è neppure una sala d'attesa, per non parlare di guardiani, Caronti e cornuti.

C'è tanto spazio e una gran cappa di fumo. Un tipo in un angolo vende buste bianche, anche a poco prezzo, perché di soldi qua non ce ne stanno e vicino a lui una hippie anni '70 scambia erba per qualche minuto di felicità.

Avevo letto in un libro di Palahniuk che qua funzionava tutto molto peggio, avevo letto di tumulti, sangue e caldo ma tira un certo vento e forse per tutto il resto dovrò aspettare un altro po', magari domani.

+1, là c'è un posto e mi vado a sedere. Butto le marlboro light, sollevo lieve il collo e vedo che la luna non c'è, però ci sono le stelle. Dev'essere un buon posto alla fine se sono tutti uguali perfino in cielo e anche io posso tirare fuori dal cappello frasi da Jim Morrison.

Sposto la mano in terra per vedere se c'è polvere, nel caso per provvedere a una pulita e trovo qualcosa, è un pacchetto.

Marlboro.

Rosse.

Si ragiona.

Scritto da J, 

pertingeredirossosanpietroburgo

never mind

day#six

Danilo

dayfive - your favorite outfit

occhi socchiusi

loomis

day#4 panda

lei, l'arma finale

ask.fm/measheike, 30dac, free portraits, talent

hi, how are you? I wanted to share a few important things:

first of all, now I've got a ask.fm account, this: [link]

feel free to drop by and ask a few questions. they don't have to be art related, ask me about anything, I'm a funny guy! plus, it's anonymous, so you can really ask me anything. 

number two! as some of you might have noticed, I've started the 30days art challenge ([link]) which is one of the best things I've done recently, it really pushes you doing things you wouldn't otherwise, it helps a lot for experimenting, learning..

three: I really want to get good at portraits, and in order to do that I need hundreds of photographs of people to study, replicate over and over, and learn from. I thought that there could be people who'd love to get a free portrait of themselves, so I'm asking you if you're interested, because, if you are, you should definitely send me a picture of you (or friend, or grandad, or dog, maybe turtles, but definitely no to dolls, dead bodies, clowns, your enemy (but yes if you really hate him, maybe I could do it with some ridiculous moustaches on his face), yesyes to your pandas, your family, maybe a beautiful portrait as a gift for st. valentine's day for your beautiful boyfriend or girlfriend). so.. ehm.. do it if you want, send a note here on dA or an email, or a message if you have me on facebook, I'll select the most interesting ones and will let you have something as soon as possible.

four; a few days ago ~leventep wrote something about talent that sums up perfectly my opinion about it. you can read it here: [link]

I started using photoshop years ago and along the way I met online a lot of people that, like me, wanted to create some art and get really good at it. most of those no longer do that. most of those went for something else. something easier, something that family, friends, the rest of the city, the whole country, the world they think they live in, would approve. they went for something that's not their dream, that, even thought they call it that way, it's not reality, it's a nightmare. 

some of those, along that way, told me that I was talented and they were not, some just said my art was lame because, well, sometimes it is, some became friends even thought they gave up on our once shared dream. I think that success is giving up. if you really want to be something, be it but eventually you'll have to give up to a few things and you will have to be ready. sometimes you'll be giving up to a girlfriend, to a wife, to a friend, to fun, to masturbation, to tv, to pleasure, to cigarettes, to cakes, to unhealty hobbies. if you're giving up art for something else for too long, you're probably going to fail daily, it will kill your motivation for good and you'll end up being an occidental salaryman. you have to find your own balance, and then you'll handle your life. it takes years to find that balance, and all of us, eventually, will fall. what makes the difference is your ability to get up and back on, to kill what keeps pushing you down. most of the time, that monster is invisible. it's there, you feel, you feel it pushing, but you can't see it. it has so many forms, might be your father, your mother, your loved one, shame, envy, doubt, the lack of motivation. talent is motivation. it is not something we are born with. you take it. you get it. that's why I always reccomend to surround yourself with the people that makes you happy, inspired, motivated, that remind you everyday how life is just a ride and you should't take it too seriously. many said it, but it's important: do what you love. forget the money, forget the life you tought you had to live, forget a comfortable and empty life. take your responsabilities, don't complain, don't blame anyone. we're not pigs, we're not in a cage and we're not on antibiotics.

that's talent, to me. finding a way to escape from reality (no one likes it anyway, don't we?), be who you are no matter what it takes. you will never regret a thing. I'm young and unexperienced, but I think I earned enough points in life to say: trust me. you don't have to prove anything to anyone, forget other people. happiness rise and dies inside yourself, it's a choice and it's yours.

IVAN

day #3: one, some, or all of your friends.

Alice

Day#2: someone you like

ruff

Rancore

30 day art challenge - day #01

toroloco

angelo bianco

cose preziose

mood

just a very quick thing..

brucia la rabbia nel freddo dell'inverno

misschristinewu

thumbs up x2

arpeggi - wip